“I’ll be happier when I reach my goal weight.”
“I’ll sign up for the experience when I feel better.”
“I’ll wear that dress/top/bikini/lingerie when I’m skinnier.”
Guess what? This mindset is a trap.
It defers joy, stops you from jumping into incredible life-changing experiences, and halts self-acceptance, for a future that may never happen or a past that’s long gone.
But here’s a liberating truth: life, confidence, and joy don’t have to wait. They’re all available right here, right now, within your reach, in your current, beautiful, real body. You are a masterpiece as you are, right now.
Presence vs Past
Do you ever catch yourself reminiscing? I know that feeling well & want to share a story from last winter.
On a beach vacation with my family, I noticed changes in my body while wearing my favorite bikini, especially my belly, which, well, had grown.
That old self-consciousness began to creep in, and I could hear that critical inner voice starting its usual chatter, trying to bring me down & feed me lies about my worth. It was trying to shake my confidence & impact my trip.
Instead, I stopped myself & shifted my focus. I re-directed my thoughts to appreciate my belly for all its strengths. She’s been a resilient companion through various food adventures, never causing me discomfort or nausea. She’s a fortress, unbothered by the challenges I’ve put it through! Thanks, girl!
This shift in perspective, embracing body neutrality & gratitude, changed everything for me. It reminded me that the shape of my belly wasn’t the highlight of my vacation. Far from it! The experience was about so much more than that.
Can you relate?
It’s a universal female experience to look back at our past selves longingly or ahead with anxiety. We find ourselves longing for our petite teenage glory or our pre-parenting physique. If it’s not the past we are longing for, we tend to stress about the future, fearing aging & its “terrifying” visible signs, due to the messages of “oh, the horror of a wrinkle!” that are deeply ingrained in our minds.
This deep longing for the past & fear of the future is incredibly limiting. It obstructs us from fully embracing & appreciating the beauty & wisdom that comes with each stage of life. By constantly comparing ourselves to our younger selves or worrying about the inevitable changes that come with living more experiences & having a long, beautiful life, we miss out on the joys & opportunities swirling around us RIGHT now.
It’s robbing you from accepting that incredible job offer, taking that solo trip to another country, donning that sexy one-piece at the beach, or even just dancing the night away with friends! It’s straight-up stealing from you, & you have the power to stop it.
We women have enough to go through. I’m done, done, done with allowing us to be robbed of these cherished moments. You deserve to live life now, not next month/year/never when you reach a dream size.
Being present in the moment is a tool to improve your life. It’s about embracing where you are right now, in this second, with the body you have.
When you’re present, you’re not worrying about tomorrow’s wrinkles or yesterday’s jeans size. This mindset shift is a game-changer for confidence. It’s about screaming out loud, “I am here, I am enough, and I am worthy of joy just as I am.”
The Body-Mind Connection
Often, we get so caught up in our thoughts that we overlook the vital body-mind connection. This oversight can lead us to suppress & ignore the important signals our bodies send us – signals that remind us to slow down, relax, laugh, and breathe. But does maintaining this sense of “complete control” truly enhance our enjoyment of life? Why not embrace & savor our bodily experiences more fully?
By shifting our focus & consciously tuning to our bodies, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves. This includes gaining insights into our emotions, and even our core values & character. Connecting with our bodies enables our emotions & feelings to emerge more authentically, fostering a richer, more integrated sense of self. It will skyrocket your confidence.
Tangible Changes
If you can’t tell, I am very passionate about mindfulness. I just love how it is such an accessible tool for everyone, and the benefits are mind-blowing, from increased confidence to decreased anxiety. I involve mindful practices, including meditation before each photoshoot at my boudoir studio. I witness the benefits in real-time all of the time!
Discovering mindfulness was a journey I didn’t initially realize would lead to confidence. However, years of dedicated practice have revealed its profound impact. It’s built upon three key principles:
- Intention: This involves a commitment to nurturing awareness in everyday life.
- Attention: It’s about being present & observant of the current moment, tuning into thoughts, feelings, & physical sensations while maintaining focus.
- Attitude: This entails adopting a non-judgmental, curious, & open-minded stance towards new concepts, thoughts, and the practice of mindfulness itself.
Practicing mindfulness means stepping away from habitual self-criticism, worry, and emotional numbing. Imagine the positive effect this could have on your confidence!
If you are ready to escape the perils of not feeling good enough, one easy way to cultivate this is through a body scan exercise.
Here’s how:
- Sit or lie in a quiet, comfortable space.
- Take a few deep breaths. Allow yourself to relax with each exhale.
- Starting at your toes, gradually move up to the crown of your head. Notice each part of your body without judgment. If you find areas of tension, gently acknowledge them.
- As you scan, thank each part of your body for what it does for you. Your legs for walking, your arms for hugging, your belly for digesting.
- If your mind wanders to the past or future, gently bring it back to the present & your body.
So I implore you: go on that date night, wear those cute summer clothes, sign up for a daring boudoir shoot, say yes to more & be in the now.
Your body & your soul deserve it.
Gabby Jockers is the Mindful Boudoir Photographer and owner of Embodied Art Boudoir, a body positive boudoir studio in Golden, CO just outside Denver. She uses embodiment practices like meditation & breathwork to help her clients get out of their heads and into their bodies. She is profoundly passionate about creating an experience for her clients that goes beyond just a ‘sexy photoshoot’ and serves as a stepping stone to the next step of their self love journey. She is also the co-creator of The Body Deck, a body image-focused affirmation card deck.
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