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Vibration, energy, aura… Your highest self, your true self. The beauty that emulates when you are aligned. 

It’s been an interesting week; albeit an interesting and difficult number of months. Spring and summer flew by as it always seems to do; quicker and quicker with each year. I knew there was change on the horizon. I knew moves would be made. I don’t think I knew, however, the toll these shifts (some rapid and some slow) would take.

This past week, the simmering came to a boil. It was probably the last straw, the one that was needed for me to realize what I’ve subconsciously been holding on to for quite some time; I’m stuck. I need to find the vibes this girl had a year ago. The one who felt purely joyful, fulfilling a purpose; the one who saw a vision and was, with love, stumbling onward, proud and worthy. 

We, in this life, are all connected. The smaller the community though, the more I question this interconnectedness, my role in it, where it leaves me, and if it’s time to go. 🏔  We all have our own vibrations, energy, and flow that directly affects others and vice versa. A cascade of events have had me craving the lighter side. I’m sure I could narrow it down to a handful of “reasons” as to why I’ve lost my sparkle, my light, my alignment. A number of catalysts for negativity that I’ve allowed to take over, that have, in fact, created a lower, denser vibration, a heaviness in my body…resulting in bummer emotions such as confusion, anger, hurt, distrust, judgement, and control. It’s become so apparent to me that I’ve detoured from my path, from my destiny, from this person and story I so strongly believe in and know I am.

The misalignment of my own true self is so obvious and evident, I can feel it. My vibration. My output. Being cognizant of my triggers, but shunning them, thinking everything will “be fine”. Going in with the best intentions, but continuously getting stuck in the same cycle; the push – pull, rise – fall, love – hate. A cognitive dissonance, the old way of being and feeling that blinds me to a bigger more inclusive picture of my own reality. The source of these inner feelings start showcasing in outward actions/vibes that aren’t representative of me. Knowing how I react to what others say/do has created limiting beliefs – 100% keeping me from my highest potential. Losing my voice and my boundaries along the way. 

The feeling stuck part stems from the fact that there has not been a resolution – a resolution being my feelings about any number of persons/situations – realizing it is my need to complete or, more likely, release the attachment, the “tangle”, and the imposed limits. Thus, allowing my truest self to move forward, trusting in something I have not yet experienced or has not yet come into existence. All the while letting go of the baggage of or from any given person/situation as that will fall as it may.

Next step … Reiki 🙂

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